Rasputin was born on January 21, 1869 in Provskoye, Serbia. As a child he noticed his mysterious abilities. He once said, "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who are mean to me. I can make them hurt if I want to...I can speak to snakes too. They find me, they whisper to me. " Or was it Tom Riddle that said that? Anyway, on February 2, 1887, he married a woman with a name so ridiculously long I won't even bother trying to type it. He had children, but abandoned his family to become a monk at the Verkhoturye monastery. There he learned how to read and write. He eventually came back to his family as a zealous convert. However, he did not stay for long. He became Rasputin the Grey Pilgrim and over the next few years would travel around, meeting different religious groups and people. Leaving his poor family to feed themselves. Father of the year, anybody?
Rasputin's life changed forever on November 1, 1905, when a friend of his introduced him to tsar Nicholas and his wife. At the time the citizens were upraising against the royal family. In April 1907, the tsar's wife asked Rasputin to cure her son, who had hemophilia because no doctor had been able to. Rasputin for a lack of a better term, worked his magic and the boy was healed. So did Rasputin save the boy with his Water-bending healing powers or did he just hypnotize/drug the boy? No one knows.
Rasputin's presence around the royal family became criticized by politicians. They wanted him out. There were claims he was having an affair with the tsar's wife, but the tsar did not buy it. Considering the fact that Rasputin looks like an old Charles Manson crossed with Jesus Christ, I doubt she would have an affair with him. I doubt any woman would have an affair with him. Steve Urkel would have a better chance. Rasputin was so ugly a woman named Gusseva tried to stab him to death with a knife on July 12, 1914. He received some wounds, but lived.
(Rasputin in the hospital, recovering from the assassination attempt)
One story about Rasputin is that he allegedly ran out onto the balcony of the palace. In front of an entire crowd of people he waived his big penis out and exclaimed, "This is what rules you!" What a dick move.
During World War I, Rasputin became an activist for peace, claiming Nicholas should not get into the war. Rasputin created a good relationship with the tsar's wife to help his political goals and remove opponents.
In the fall of 1915, politician and statesmen, Ilidor and Alexei Khvostov planned to have Rasputin assassinated. They believed he was a German spy. Rasputin eventually found out about the plan and became paranoid. He wanted to be monitored by the police 24/7. Probably the only person in history, who would actually want that. Khvostov was replaced with one of Rasputin's friends; Alexander Protopopov, which caused controversy because he was believed to have German connections and was crazy. The best way to describe Protopopov is to think of that one friend you have/had that your other friends said you should not be hanging out with and you know that, but you stay friends with him out of pity.
(Political cartoon showing Rasputin's dominance over the royal family.)
At this point Rasputin was seen as a puppet master, controlling the royal family like Jafar from Disney's, Aladdin. Rasputin grew increasingly paranoid as he knew his death was approaching. A few nights before December 16/17, 1916, Rasputin was invited to Felix Yusopov's palace. Yusopov was a regular patient of Rasputin. Rasputin was blasted by bullets from Yusopov and his accomplices. However, as if it was an episode of The Walking Dead, Rasputin was still alive. They shot him down again and beat him with clubs. Then hey dumped his dead corpse in an icy river. It was discovered by police a few days later.
However, before Rasputin died he had cursed the royal family. This curse sparked the Russian Revolution, which killed all of the royal family members except, Anastasia. When she reveals herself years later, Rasputin wakes up from limbo and sends evil spirits after her. With his side kick bat, Bartok, he.....wait. I apologize, I incorporated the plot of the movie, Anastasia into Rasputin's biography. My bad.
So was Rasputin bat shit crazy? Many of the accounts of Rasputin were written by his enemies, so they are not reliable. However, they are what we have. Some people call him a hero, others demonize him. His story has been exaggerated so much it's hard to tell truth from fiction. He might have done some damage, but ultimately if there is anyone to be blamed for the fall of the royal family it should be put on Nicholas and his wife for their bad calls. They gave the power to Rasputin.
This has been the fifth installment of the Interesting Biographies series. Follow my blog for more posts like this one in the future. Also check out my previous biographies. Leave a comment if there is anyone you want me to do a biography on.
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